11.3 "God too cruel"

A pre-WORLDS2 nervous breakdown -- Serina Alonzo took out a piece of sticky paper and scribbled on it with the words "God's so cruel. I think He has left me...." She tossed the piece of paper to Ho Jae and then ran out the door.

After many long days and hours of toil, at 5 A.M. that day, Serina Alonzo finally tasted what it was like to sleep. She woke up thirty minutes after to get ready for school--and thirty minutes of sleep did not matter for as long as work was finished well. Finally satisfied with the book critique, she squeezed the USB in her hand and said, "This has got to be the best book critique I've ever written!" Upon arriving at school early that day, she went up the library at Andrew Gonzalez Hall to quadruple-check both papers before having them printed--both the WRIFICT book critique and the WORLDS2 Nietzsche paper.

But then this happened. First, the librarians did not allow USBs for the library computers, not even when really needed. Frustrated, Serina darted out the door and walked all the way to the piso print at One Archer's Place, only to find out that both files were not in the USB--either something deleted them or they were not saved at all. Outside the piso print, Serina literally fell on her knees and grieved as if someone important had just died--replace "someone" with "hopes and dreams of rising victoriously in major subjects." She found herself finally using those "swear words" that were once just untouched vocabulary inside her word bank. She then decided to type everything from both papers down from memory, beginning with the book critique, the more crucial one.

When the bell rang for the 9:15 A.M. WORLDS2 class, she quickly dropped everything and headed to class--strangely, Serina could not bear to cut class, not even for important papers. A few classmates like Riddick and Kevin noticed her wiping away tears and sniffling as she entered the classroom. She did not mind them or anyone. Instead, the plan of action was to proactively continue to rewrite whatever she could remember from the initial document. She spent those hours trying to come up with a similar document. Meanwhile, she also blamed God for the mishap. Finally, at the peak of her anger, she wrote "God's so cruel. I think He has left me." Slipping the note under Ho Jae's hand on the desk, she stood up and ran out the door in complete anguish, saying words like "What of 'I'll never leave you nor forsake you,' God? I believed in You..."

She spent the span of her only break time cramming the papers, feeling altogether happy that she finally had opportunity to self-torture by skipping lunch. Lunch happens to be her favorite meal of the day--skipping it would equate to deprivation of happiness. After one paper was done, she proceeded to writing the next paper. In less than an hour, she managed to chock up three unsatisfactory, half-baked papers.

Later that afternoon, she received a text message of concern from Ho Jae. Serina confided that she thinks she is turning crazy.