11.5 A meets K at coffee shop to talk about insanity, etc.

Bipolarity, self-diagnosed -- After having read two madwoman novels, Serina Alonzo decides that she might be bipolar or almost insane as she matches every symptom found on disorder websites. She tells a good friend, Ho Jae, who offers timely help. They meet at a coffee shop where he makes her feel dumb for believing in such things. On the other hand, she is under no illusion to the fact that it might be true.

Ho Jae, a man she admires for being so disciplined and righteous, prefers reason over emotions. He is quick at analyzing problems which Serina, being highly overemotional, cannot do efficiently by herself. She breaks down easily and often imagines what life would be like in a rehabilitation center. At one point during a conversation, Ho Jae even suggests that she needs professional help.

After writing some essays at the AG library, Serina met Ho Jae at a nearby coffee shop at 3 p.m. where he asked about the note she tossed him a few days ago, which read something like "God's too cruel, I think He has left me." He bought a tall cup of coffee using his coffee name, Kim. Ho Jae corrected her wrong by saying that she should not equate weakness and fear to problems, but instead think that being weak or afraid is normal as everyone experiences these. He also explained that being "left by God" means going to hell and that calling God "cruel" is blasphemous. That segment of the conversation was an emotional one.

Serina then admitted that she is deathly afraid of ghosts and of being alone in the dark. She exaggerated by saying that if she is without anyone in a dark place and she sees a ghost, she might faint. She would need at least just one person to be there with her in the event that there might be a ghost, so that she would have someone to hug. Ho Jae corrected this notion by telling her that she should not be dependent on people--"lean on God, not men."

Serina recalled how many times last week she cried and blamed God for all problems. She asked him, "How do you do it? How do you manage to keep a relationship with God despite all you've been through?"

"God; not me."